Today is the day that I draw the fine line between friends and those who pretend to be...

So today I had to go out and sweep out all of our sheds and the surrounding area. Fun fun fun. Wow every time I try to type fun I get to fuc then backspace to do the end I think this says that I type fuck way to often. Oh well, but anyways I was out in the sheds doing my thing and I swept up an old used condom. While being totally fucking grossed out I mused who would be so horny and senseless to fuck in a she at the local Home Depot but be so thoughtful as to use a condom? I really don’t understand the thinking behine this one how can one be so stupid and smart all in one shot?

I also have a gripe about the place that I work...what a shocker! So I work in the lot under the department number 96 but 96 is a sub department of 90 which is the front end. Now whenever I get the chance to I go and help out in other departments because during out indoctrination that we all have to go to we are told that the Home Depot crew is a "family" and we all help each other out blah, blah, blah. Well, when I go to help other departments I get nothing but shit from my department bosses whom shall remain nameless for the time being. So I can’t go help other departments yet when the front end needs a back up cashier or they need help with collecting carts or they need help loading a customer out front when I’m out or out to lunch or what-have-you the other department associates are supposed to jump and get right on it. And it’s all done under the impression from Big Brother that we need excellent customer service because we are the last people that the customer sees on their way out and if they are happy when they leave they will come back. Yet, riddle me this. If there isn’t enough people in the department and they need to team lift an object or they have an excess of customers and I volunteer my help and am not allowed to assist customers will the customer not then proceed to walk out and shop elsewhere and not even go through the front end. I do understand that we need to have carts for the customers but I don’t understand why I have to be out there every goddamned second of my shift when I can be used sensibly in other parts of the store.

I do have a solution that will never ever be used by the Home Depot corporation because I am in fact a lowly peon in their kingdom of associates. I think that they should have an expiditer type of associate position. An associate who clocks in under whatever department is short on hours for the week or what not and they could then bounce around from department to department wherever there is excess customers or they can cover a lunch when there is no one in the department. Well, this blog has turned serious hasn’t it. Well too fucking bad it was something I had been wanting to get off my chest.

Currently listening to: Under Falling Skies check them out they are from Springfield and totally fucking bad ass www.myspace.com/underfallingskies

Buy the Kellogg’s and the bomb is free...

So first of I would like to address the subject of Easter with it just around the corner. I understand taht it’s the celebration of the resurrection of Christ and blah blah blah. I would really like to know where the giant bunny comes into play with all of this. Did he roll the rock out of the way so that Jesus could get out and tell him "Hey Jesus dude, we brought you back with an important mission to hide these crazy colored eggs from the children." I don’t think that’s what happened and if it did would somebody show me that chapter in the bible because I think I might read the book if it was a little more sci-fi.

This brings me right around to religion. I am agnostic person I don’t believe that there is one true entity in the sky that created all that is but I’m not opposed to there being such a thing. Science can neither prove nor disprove the notion of a God so I will leave up to when I die to find out. I just don’t want to devote myself to one cult and say that it is the right one I like to leave my options open until I am holding hands with the Grim Reaper himself.

Why don’t people ever use graffitti to write nice things. It’s always "Lisa G is a dirty skanky whore." or "Mike Silver is a fucking butt fucker" It’s never "Richard is a really cool guy" or "Mary likes to receive flowers" Why are people such assholes all the time. And why do straight guys always call their friends "fags" but I never have heard a gay man call their friends "straight" or "hetero". These are things that fuck with my head at all times.

So Mike Hutchinson one of the ex-lot attendants whom I really grew to hate over the past year now is employed by Best Buy of the Berkshire Mall and yesterday when I went in there it really ruined my shopping experience to see that fuck in there.

I have really enjoyed usuing the term "wench" lately I just fucking love the sound of it. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to use it.

So on the bus from the middle of Pittsfield out the Home Depot about a week ago I met Mario. Mario is a latino man who seemed to be in his late 30’s. He was a very open man. He wanted to talk to me for some reason. It started out talking about working. Then we got onto the subject of "his lady", his words not mine. And his lady is a big girl. On the outside and with a big heart. This guy was just talking and talking. Talking about turning down hot girls when he was out in California and shit. Talking about how he moved to the Berkshires to raise his little girl because it seems that there is no trouble for the kids to get into which I too feel is true. His intentions seemed alright. It was either that or he’s running from the Californian government or some shit. But he seemed like an alright guy none the less and made my 1/2 hour bus ride seem a lot quicker even if it was weird that this dude would just open up to me for the hell of it.

There was a man who stopped me today in the lightbulb area of the depot. He was asking for an indoor grow light for plants for his special closet project "if you know what I mean *wink wink*". Direct quote from the man himself. I know what he was talking about my Dad had a closet project when I was just a wee lad. He has quit such shenanigans as of late which I am proud of him for.

Well that seems to be a good update for now...Peace whatever

I'm Feeling This!

One thing that I've wanted to bring up was the problem that people have with talking to themselves. I fucking think these people need to be supervised when in public so that someone can fucking smack them in the mouth when they start talking to themselves. I witnessed one woman the other day that had a complete conversation with her reflection in the window. She was doing hand gestures and everything. She would shake her head when she didn't agree with herself and all this crazy shit. Then there was a man at the bus stop that was just spouting off random fucking words to himself in the little bus stop hut. I wouldn't go near him I didn't want to interrupt his obviously important conversation with himself. The last person that I observed doing this almost daily is a kid at work. He stands near his register and just constantly talks under his breath to himself. I don't know what he's talking about but he sure does have a lot in common with himself because he never runs out of shit to say.

Lately I've been listening to hella blink-182. I just realized how much I fucking missed listening to them back in the day.

Did you know that Ford F-350's now have tampons? The Home Depot load-n-go does. When you check the transmission fluid on that bitch out pops out this little fucking white tampon looking thing and transmission fluid is fucking red. Those Fucks at Ford are sick muthafucking bastards.

So I went to court last Thursday because I was getting sued by this guy, blah blah blah. Long story short I have to pay him 100 bucks a month for the next 8 months. It seriously could've been worse.

Did you know that people brake for butterflies. Fucking idiots. I hate them.

People need to know the fucking limit of their vehicle and stop putting a ton of shit into half ton trucks. I don't know what's wrong with these people but I don't think that load ratings on pick up trucks are just guidelines that have a leeway of a ton or two either way. I think that it should be legal to beat idiots like this with a shovel. It really would make my life much more fun and interesting.

You’re about to take a Mindtrip...So get your ticket stamped

So today was a pretty mundane day in the saltmines. Of course all of the rumors flying around about me always excite me a bit because I find it all quite HILARIOUS.

But tonight there was a little excitement for me, of course it was probably disappointment for another one of our associates but it occuppied my time quite well. Silver was in an accident as he was leaving work. As soon as I heard about it and that it was at the back of our lot I naturally went out there for two reasons. First and foremost to make sure that dumbfucker wasn't injured. Secondly, because I am a rubbernecker. I love to watch other peoples misfortune. Sorry Silver. It definitly made it worthwhile when the other woman cried over a tow truck. And her vehicle wasn't towed until about 8:30 and the accident was shortly after 7. Ooohhhh that brought satisfaction to my dark heart.

Lastly, Sharon, my front end supervisor was nice enough to give me a ride home. The original plan was to get to Adams and then catch a cab back to the good ol' NA. When we got to her home she ended up going inside and getting her 4 year old and he came along for a ride and she brought me all the way home. Meeting this child just made my heart melt. He was so damn cute. I've always known that I want kids, it's just one of those things that you just know you want. I can't wait to have kids. Strike that, I'm excited at the prospect of one day having kids but not right now, I definitly don't want to be a 19 year old father. But I really wouldn't mind being a father in my mid to late 20's.

Well, this wasn't that funny but it definitly was a journey into my mind...Mindtrip...That's a good tune look it up it's by Nonpoint.

Tightly hold your hand take a deep breath give them the finger...

So my little sister who is 11 years old for some unknown reason needed a MySpace or she would fucking die. She talked her mother into it even though the site clearly states that you have to be 14 to have an account and apparantly the scare tactics that a sexual predator is sitting outside the house waiting to put you in his van doesn't work either. I still don't know why somebody in sixth grade with all of 20 friends needs a MySpace to keep tabs on their friends when you see them in school every single day. She's usually a wench anyways...I don't know what that has to do with anything but oh fucking well.

So anybody out there listen to Our Lady Peace with such fantastical songs as "Superman's Dead" "One Man Army" and "Somewhere Out There" among others. If not you should and if you don't after reading this a dead 12 year old who was brutally murdered by her parents will come and kill you at precisly 1:15 this morning. So you better get listening goddamnit.

I think that I've exhausted my hate for the retarded bunch of fucks that I serve at work also known as the general public. I really don't have anything else to say about these people. Oh yeah, except when you come to buy something such as a toilet, shower, or about 15 fucking windows or doors. BRING A FUCKING FRIEND YOU GODDAMNED IDIOTS. I can not stress this enough. You know that you are going out to buy a large item(s) yet you still show up alone walk to the back of the store without a cart and then you're mad when you have to go back to the front of the store for a cart. It's not like you were just casually perusing our store and say to yourself, "Self, I think that I shall buy a new toilet today." This is a purchase that you need to think about. And men SHOULDN'T send in their PREGNANT wives to pick shit up such as doors and windows. Go with them you fucking moron. What the fuck are you doing that's so fucking important that you have to send your pregnant wife whom can't even get in and out of the fucking car. Really people are idiotic and fucked in the fucking head. Fucking fuckers.

Alright now I think I've exhausted my hate for the customers for tonight. It's been a little while since I've done this shiznat...

Well since the little thing below this that says what I'm listening to isn't working I'm listening to Our Lady Peace as you should be too mother fuckers...

I sleep so I can’t feel...

Random blog about stuff that I'm kinda excited for in '08...

-Moving to Garden at work is a big muthafuckin' plus I'm sick of the fucking parking lot

-Shitload of new tunes from some of my favorite bands

-Sevendust
-Taproot
-Disturbed
-Slipknot
-10 Years

-Going away to fucking college I'm so fucking pumped that I'm going to Johnson and Wales in Providence, RI you don't even know each day it gets closer and closer I think I'm down to 219 days left until I leave.

I think that's actually it for now...I've stopped doing funny blogs because I was trying to hard to do it and it was a strained funny and no longer natural I'm sure that when I get to a new department in a few weeks new shit will arise I think that the parking lot has just left me at a stalemate for new material.

It’s one hell of a marketing ploy...

Heath Ledger was found dead in his NYC apartment today from either an accidental overdose or they haven't ruled out suicide. It's a terrible thing when a young person is taken far too soon but the cast and crew of "Dark Knight" have got to be seeing dollar signs because you know that many people will want to see the movie as it is his last role. I will see it. Well, So Long old friend who wasn't my friend we will grieve your death for a day or two and then move on to the next "big thing".