Things I thought about on 9/30

So, uh, today I kinda had to clean out a wheelie cart thing with a dead bird in it. Well, a dead bird wouldn't of bothered me but, it was swimming in about an inch of water from the recent rain and this bird has to have been sitting in this cart since at least early July-ish I am going to say. Based on how what was swimming the fucking water is a skull, feathers, and his two legs. Why did nobody notice this dead bird before a customer did yesterday and asked it be removed so they could purchase it. I don't know but I do know that I got stuck fucking cleaning it out because garden people are apparantly immune to having to clean their own department today. Silver and I did hold a quick funeral for the L'il Fucker as I have decided to name him. I was acting pastor since we didn't have one handy and said some words for the L'il Fucker..can't send him off without wings to fly on. So that was all of my excitment for the day.

These are some of the things that I think of while at work....

Oh yeah and I did get a haircut tonight which was my first in far too long since my grays have been quite prominant....just a little personal sidenote...

Things I thought about on 9/20

So last night I ended up workin' an overnight on top of my closing shift. I realized that I fuckin' love overnights. I wish that I could do them all the time. Of course I would no longer have a reason to do this blog because there are NO FUCKING CUSTOMERS. It's the best thing ever just doing your assigned work getting your breaks and going home...no ridiculous requests, questions, or bullshit at all...but it was a really long day and I couldn't sleep when I got home so I'm about ready for some sleepy time now though...I will be back tomorrow at 1:30 for those damned customers...

Things I thought about on 9/18 [Part 2]

More MOTHER FUCKERS...I'm getting pretty sick of fucking people in the store that believe that the lot attendant actually works for their department when I actually have my own fucking department to fucking take care of. This has become a problem over in lumber with them thinking that I am their personal fucking spotter...I am more than a MOTHER FUCKING FLAG STAND YOU FUCKS....I mean what the hell I'm getting called to load fragile old bags and I have to stand here and hold flags because your job seems to be more important than mine...I think fucking not...Number 1 is most important to me and last I checked I was Fucking 1...

2 is Millwork and you all know that story and then some I won't even start on THOSE FUCKSTICK FUCKKNOB MOTHERFUCKS...Only two of 'em though...The other 2 are actually pretty good...3 is the motherfuck at the service desk and I'm only talking about one of them.. She has toned down her use of me lately. I do believe that I have made it clear that the back of my shirt does not read Welcome because I AM NOT A FUCKING DOOR MAT. Fuck that and fuck them...All of 'em...But of course this is only a blog...I will probably still take most of it because I like having a steady source of income....

These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 9/18

I love sexual innuendo so damn much I don't think that I could live without it. I was outside today fucking around when on the radio came across the voice of an annoying bitch. She said verbatim, "Zac, Carol is wondering where her rug is." Now I don't know what you would thing of in a situation such as this but my mind of course was on a one way track to pervert town and had to suppress the urge to make some kind of wise fucking remark to it. I did although die laughing.

Nothing really fantastic or fucking stupid to report for today I just haven't blogged in two days and felt the want to do it...

So I am trying to make a complete list of what my job actually is here's what I have so far:
1. Cart Pusher
2. Maintenance/Janitor (Change light bulbs, mop, sweep, clean out vomit fucking trash cans, etc.)
3. Professional Painter
4. Professional Spotter
5. Breakroom Attendant (My favorite :-)
6. Scapegoat
7. Clown (My personal quest...love to make people laugh only true thing that makes me happy :-D)

Umm that's all I have so far...this was less funny more useless but what the hell I've danced enough for the last three weeks gotta have a serious post every now and then...I promise this won't be a habit...

These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 9/16

Does it make me a bad person if I don't particularly care how someone is doing at any given time in the day? I am addressing the random people that I do not know that pass me at any given point in the day and go "How's it goin'?" or "How are you?" Now I think that these people are either overly senstive to everyones feelings, drones of society who have this drilled into their heads as a proper greeting in place of a friendly "Hello"...I can do hello but then when they say "How you doin'?" in passing sometimes I don't have the time to stop and shoot the shit as to how my day is going. I don't want to lie to them either and say "OK" if I'm clearly not having a good day. And now the proper response to the question they are asking is usually "Good/Bad/Whatever, and how are you doing?" Now this exchange can really take up a good 2 minutes of my valuable time sometimes. This is just unacceptable. I believe that complete strangers should have to stick to the simple Hello's and let it be...I don't want to get to personal with these people at all....And then you have the people that ask you how you are and keep walking...what fucking assholes...why ask the question if you don't WANT a fucking answer...not that I give one out usually anyways. I don't mind if someone I know asks me how I'm doing...if I know them enough I may actually be even curious as to how they are doing...alright that's enough of that shit and I think that I have used far too many elipseses....

Ok so I'm thinking this might actually be a had to be there moment but I was told to put it in here so I will...maybe somebody will find it funny. We were having our store meeting at work tonight and we were getting our success sharing checks which is a big joke to begin with. So I was bored to begin with and was yelling things out, clapping at innappropriate times, what have you that you would do at assembly's way back in high school. I was an expert at that. So when people were going up to get there checks they were hugging their superior. Which I found to be fucking odd. Taht would make me personally uncomfortable. So on my way up to grab my huge fuckin' bonus I spotted Mr. Silver standing on the side there and I grabbed a hold of him to hug him as a joke instead of my direct superior because it's just funnier. Well I latched onto him like he was my fucking savior in life and he turned as red as a fucking apple. A red apple like a McIntosh not a Granny Smith those are green. But anyways afterwards people pointed out that he couldn't stop blushing after that and he had a bulge in his pants which makes me question things, you know what I mean? He's saying it's just the way the pants are...Hmmm we'll never know for sure but I hope it was just the way his pants are...

Well I guess that's it for this evening...These are some of the things that I think of while at work....

Things I thought about on 9/14

So I might have previously brought this up but can anybody let me know why The Home Depot has a janitor that does nothing. He has his goddamned "zamboni" machine that cleans the floor and then he loves. He even does that shittily and just fucking leaves piles of shit all over the place. He doesn't sweep he doesn't clean the windows. He doesn't EVEN CLEAN THE FUCKING BATHROOMS. He is fucking useless and we pay him for some unbeknownst (it's a word Google that shit motherfucker) to me. Yeah so that brings me to the biggest thing for me I think that he should hose out our trash barrels. I already have accepted that I have to change the trash but there is no fucking way that I will be hosing out the barrels. We have one that smells like fucking bile. Somebody has apparently puked in it and it's been fermenting since like the beginning of the fucking summer. And whenever I change that trash I want to puke in it myself and the smell gets on me and then affects the customer pleasure with our store. See where I'm going to bring this up to management with that comment but maybe I won't because that will just make it so that I have to fucking clean that shit for that fucking non-english speaking mother fucking sad excuse for a janitor. He doesn't even use a fucking mop. I want a janitor who will mop that's what I like to see. A janitor who busts his fucking stones for his goddamned money. Better yet he's lucky he has this fucking job he should be trying to please everyone he could be sitting outside the fucking Home Depot asking all contractors for a "yob" fucking goddamned ungrateful fuck...DO SOME FUCKING WORK MOTHERFUCKER...I'm not racist just intolerant...I believe that all races should be able to live but in their own GODDAMNED FUCKING COUNTRY COME OVER HERE LEARN TO SPEAK FUCKING ENGLISH AND BE GLAD THAT WE DON'T DEPORT YOUR ASS AND GIVE YOUR JOB TO A NEEDY WHITE MAN...Fuck this blog could get me in trouble this is totally friends only...

If your shit is broken don't buy it don't ask for a discount...you would buy good stuff if you really needed it you fuckstick asshole motherfucker...

I'm really getting sick of pulling doors for someone who has nothing to do so he won't fucking do it. I'm a fat dude too so I know that you don't feel like moving from your desk but you know what I do it daily. Get the fuck up and pick something up motherfucking assfuck. It's not right that the customer had to wait around for an hour and a half because your too lazy and make up excuses until I drop all the shit that I'm doing to fucking help your lazy ass. I'm about to just fucking stop and say F.I. Fuck it man. This dude not longer abides...Watch "The Big Lebowski"....These are some of the things that affect my work day...

Things I thought about on 9/11

Just a small entry for today. I was over at the lumber door/pad today while a man was having about 25 sheets of sheetrock loaded into his truck by the forktruck with the guys from lumber. The man was paying for his sheetrock when an older woman walks up to the cashier and asks him if she can get a board cut and he explained to her that she would be taken care of as soon as someone was free from loading. She then cried out that if she didn't get this board cut the woman she was with would DIE! I was not aware that wood was the cure to any kind of illness at all. The woman played the fucking death card. She then proceeded to harass the sheetrock man exclaiming that the board would take five minutes and that his sheetrock would take an hour and the other woman would be dead. She was severly fucked up and I wanted to punch her in the throat because she was just that goddamned annoying. The guy with the sheetrock ended up going off on her for me. He told her that "patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue even for someone at your old age!" I was fucking dying this man was voicing my thoughts. But that's pretty much it for today mostly same ol' boring shit while the rain drizzled down. The man was buying sheetrock while rain was coming down??? He wasn't all there either I guess. These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 9/06

So first let me paint a picture for you; a family of indians, not tomahawk indians the dot indians. They all walk into the Home Depot. Now they all looked normal. Except for one thing. They were all wearing those goddamned Crocs shows. Has anybody ever told them that they look ridiculous. Now this was the father, mother, son and daughter all sporting red, purple, baby blue, and hot pink Crocs respectivly. Now these are the most STUPID FUCKING LOOKING FOOTWEAR. Never mind when grown adults, nevermind, MEN wear them. Men have no right to wear those shoes. But on some goddamned sneakers like the rest of the men in the goddamned nation. WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOK FUCKING RIDICULOUS...

DON'T LEAVE YOUR VEHICLE UNATTENDED AT PUBLIC BUSINESSES IF YOU HAVE A CAR ALARM...There is no way to contact you to turn it off and it gives me a headache and the desire to take a bat to that shit. If my job didn't way in the balance and I had to listen to it for 4 hours I would've. It went from about 10 in the morning until about 4 in the afternoon. I was there at 1 to hear it. This fucking asshole left his shit ass fucking Nissan Pathfinder that was held together by zip ties at the Home Depot and his goddamned alarm went off with no way to shut it off. It just fucking sucked. Goddamned MOTHER FUCKINGG PEOPLE FUCKING PISS ME THE FUCK OFF CUNT ASS FUCK BITCH MOTHER FUCK ASSHOLE LICKING WHORESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I kind of feel better now...

These are some of the things that I think of while at work...