All Dressed Up On Wedding Day, Keep On Trippin' Anyway

Black people shouldn't cross the street at night. It had to be said, and I said it.

The Truth Hurts So Bad, Wouldn't You Say? So Why Tell It...

So my place of employment is exactly like fucking high school. Instead of concentrating on doing your job collecting your check and getting the fuck out of there, people concentrate more or less on who's seeing who, who's fucking who, and who hates who. I thought last June when I graduated from high school that maybe I'd finally be able to leave behind all the fucking bullshit that is incorporated with everybody's business. I wish that I could just show up for my fucking goddamn job one mother fucking day and fucking do my job without somebody that I really could give two fucks about asking me if I'm fucking this person, or if I'm dating that one. No, I'm not fucks, now if you could kindly fuck off and fucking fall off the face of the Earth that would be extremely helpful to me.

Meanwhile, on the home front I think that I've found the best group of friends that I've ever had in my life. People who will accept me for who I am and not who they want me to be. People who seem to genuinly like having me around and you know what, it makes me so much happier to finally find people like that, I've been looking for a while now.

Work over the past few days has fucking sucked asshole. It's been anywhere from 90 to 100 degrees over the last few days and I'm out in the fucking parking lot pulling in carts and loading a/c's for everyone and their mother fucking mother. So, I'm fairly sure that I've lost a few pounds just from sweating my fucking balls off over the past three days of work.

I think that's all I have to say right now.

We Are Letting You Get Away With It

So last Friday was a pretty fucking good day for me after my lunch hour. I had gone to the bank on my lunch hour that day and when I punched back in from my lunch Haley tells me that I allegedly missed Aaron Lewis shopping in our Pittsfield store. I actually thought that she was lying to me. Then after I had clocked out for the day Haley had put some things aside for him and he came back and went to the service desk for his things and asked for Haley. Sharon was up at the desk and ripped into Haley for putting things aside for him which I guess she wasn't supposed to, I guess it was just a huge misunderstanding. Then he gave Sharon an attitude about yelling at Haley and walked away from her after snatching his receipt out of her hands and giving her a dirty look which Haley said was priceless. She called and told me this story while I was on the bus home and it made my day that Aaron Lewis was a dick to my supervisor. Haha, that's greatness right there.

On a side note he was in again yesterday because he obviously has more money than he knows what to do with and I saw him with my own eyes so I now believe that the previous story did actually happen.

So, back to last Friday, I get off the bus after being amped up about the to do at work. They have fucking Main St. in North Adams blocked off. I guess some guy from Schenectady New York tried to rob the North Adams Hoosac Bank. Which was stupid of him seeing as the police station is a hop, skip, and a jump from that bank. When I get into town there are random duffel bags laying all over the street and everyone is just staring at them. I call my uncle and he tells me that these are bombs. I was like, "No Shit! I'm looking at bombs...in North Adams" Nothing this cool ever happens here. So I walk over towards Big Y where there is a single van parked in the parking lot and it's the guys van. Where he was keeping his pit bull because all badass robbers with TNT strapped to their chest and in Duffel bags have Pit Bulls to guard their vans. It's just so much shit happening in North Adams. Nothing ever happens here. Well, now it has. Blew my fucking mind I was calling everyone in my goddamned phone to tell them. Crazy Shit.
So, since yesterday been listening to a new band that is opening for Nine Inch Nails on their upcoming tour. Does It Offend You, Yeah? check them out, very dancey and electronic. It's something different I like it. Also, I have acquired the new Weezer album, "Weezer (Red Album)" I also have been digging that today. That's about it for today. So, whatever. Oh, yeah, Fuck You Mike Jezak for being all like, "write a damn blog" fucking bitch.

I'm Not Giving You An Attitude, I Just WANT Another DRINK

So a couple of days ago whilst at work I got a call to go see the managers in the computer room. So, I was thinking that I was in some trouble possibly fired. I get back there and my manager tells me that somebody took a shit on the floor and that it needs to be cleaned up. I was like fuck that shit, I don't get paid enough. Needless to say I was walking towards the human shit while this conversation was going on because I am a spineless fuck when it comes to telling people off in management positions because I need my weekly paycheck. Well, I ended up not actually picking up the shit itself. The ASM did that with a rag himself. I did follow him around with the mop though. I think it was some kid that shit their pants because it wasn't like a pile of shit, it was like a few little nuggets. Some little girl did step in it though and I thought. That. Was. Hilarious. I'm horrible. I know. I'm going to hell. Whatever. Fuck it. She was tracking it down a hallway and our manger had to explain to her parents what happened. HAHA. Well, it was an humourous and disgusting experience all at once.

I put in for a vacation for the first week of June, maybe I'll get it, maybe I won't, I hope I do because I need a vacation before I start causing bodily harm to anyone and everyone within the confinment of that shithole. I just need a week of nothingness.

On May 9, 2008 I took my vow to become sober for a while to dry myself out. I have a very addictive personality and I had felt myself on a downward spiral with drinking. It was getting so bad that I was having cravings while at work for a drink. I don't know how long I want to stay sober. I know that it's not for long. I don't even think it's for much longer. I just know that it's been about 11 days now. Which is good since I was intoxicated every night for almost two weeks when I wasn't at work. I figured that I'd give myself two weeks or so, so that I could not have withdrawls and shit anymore.

Lately, I've been giving much love to Clutch. I love their music. Everything from their early nineties punk/metal phase to late nineties classic rock phase which evolved into their now classic rock/bluesy sound that they have on their latest album "From Beale Street to Oblivion". They had awesome songs such as "Careful With That Mic" from the album "Pure Rock Fury", "Power Player" (which this blogs title comes from a line in that song" off of "From Beale Street to Oblivion", "The Mob Goes Wild" (awesome Anti-Bush shit, I'm in love with political music) off of "Blast Tyrant", and "Burning Beard" and "10001110101" off of "Robot Hive/Exodus". Check some of that shit out if you're fucking bored and love muzak. That's enough of my musical boasting.

I really don't have much else to say at the moment but, if I think of something I'm sure it will be said eventually.

I Do It For The Love, That I Get From The Bottom Of A Bottle

So last night I was at Cumberland Farm's with Jess and while we were inside a cop car comes pulling up very fucking fast with the lights a flashing. We were outside and we saw a plain clothes cop go running to the car and yell out "Hey you called the wrong buddy tonight!" It was a fucking drug bust. It was fucking awesome. Cops were pulling up and took them out and cuffed them, read them their rights and then when the cop was questioning one of them he was going through the kids pockets and pulled out the kids cell phone and said, "You told me you had a cool cell phone." It was fucking hilarious. I love real life episodes of cops.

I Need Your Dicsipline, I Need Your Help...You Know Once I Start I Cannot Help Myself

So I am allegedly getting my check from the government quite soon. That's how fucking shitty our government is. They promise us these fucking stimulus checks and then everybody wants to know when we will be getting them so we can do some economy stimulating, but alas they tell us all technically when we are getting them. Something to do with your Social Security Number. Whether you got direct deposit and all kinds of shit. What time of the day you were born and whether or not you smoke and if you like to wad your toilet paper or fold it are all very very important government stipulations to find out when you should get your stimulus check. Why not just fucking send them out alphabetically by last name. Do something easy to understand so you don't have to do fucking math and shit to figure out when you are getting it you can look at a chart and go, "Oh, my last name ends with a "B" therefore I should get my check between this date and this date. I fucking hate our government, if it wasn't such a hassle I would go to school in Canada and just fucking live there for the rest of my life. Our government has become so fucked up and corrupt that we can't do anything or say anything at all without the fear of having broken our laws. This country is nothing like it used to be or originally stood for. This country fucking stood for freedom and being able to do what you like. That's what it was founded for way back when we were being dictated by a king in mother Britain. We have reverted back to that day in age when we have a huge talking head dictating what's wrong, what's right, what to say, and when to fucking piss. I think that's it for the politics for the moment.

So, I'm probably about to break the rules right now but, I don't give a shit. On Wednesday I was sat down in the principal's office and got slapped on the wrist at work. I was sat down by mom and dad and told that I've been a bad boy. I know that mom will most likely eventually read this but it's nothing personal but every child that gets yelled at is a bit bitter afterwards. So apparently I talk too much. I talk to this person and that person and yada yada yada. Alright, I do do this and everyone else does in the corporation, yet, I was the one who was caught this time so ok I'll take that one. My bad. So another thing that I've been doing is shirking my responsibilities as a lot attendant. Ok, so I don't push carts 100% of the time. I go and help in other departments. Sometimes they are short handed and have an influx of customers so I go help expedite a bit. Sometimes they grab me to help out because they just need that extra set of hands. So, I can't do any of that anymore unless the parking lot is spotless. Alright, so the company, when you are first hired, indoctrinates you to "bleed orange" by showing you videos for 10 hours on how we "help in all departments" and how we are all a "family" at work and when I try to live out these values day to day on the sales floor I get reamed out because there are carts out in the lot. Whatever, man I'm just so fucking sick of this shit in this fucking place, really all I have to do is make it until September 6 and then I'll be gone. I need out. Bad.

All Alone I Fall to Pieces

So today I am composing this blog after drinking about 17 White Russians and I am currently cranking some Saul Williams...check his shit out maybe you'll like and maybe you won't see if I give a fuck man.

I fucking love the word fuck. It's just so fucking great man it just rolls off the tongue man. Say that shit....fuck fuck fuckity fuck...

So I went to a funeral for my cousin Kathleen today. We weren't close at all but it still sucks to have your family dying out. Well, while we were at the funeral home today, man, I figured out what I would like in place of the prayer section of the send off. Since, I am not one to believe in celebrating the cult life style (i.e. Catholism, Christianity, Judiasm) I am actually agnostic. I believe that there could be something but am not commiting to one true God. So in place of reading from the Bible I would like there to be a little passage said about how I have been riding this bus called life for so long and it has now come to the end of the line for the time being and then I would like everyone to sing "The Wheels on the Bus". I would then like another analogy comparing life to riding a boat down a river. followed by a rousing round of "Row, Row, Row, Your Boat". I think that this includes everyone because everyone should know the words to that shit. I thought of this because I didn't know any of the stupid prayers that we were supposed to be doing along in church or any of that shit. Fuck that cultism shit. Also when I die, put me in a fucking coffee can man. I don't want an expensive urn or any of that shit. Put me in a coffee can and have a fire the night of my funeral and throw my ashes in my fire. Thanks a lot everyone, I think that I would like to make this blog my actual Last Will and Testament. I am now listening to "Fall to Pieces" by Velvet Revolver....I fucking love that song man. I was fucking cocked last night and woke up and started fucking drinking again today it's been a long few fucking hours. Fuck All Y'all man...

I think it's gonna rain when I die...

So I've been quite busy with a lot of shit lately. Being disgruntled at work among other things.

The title of this blog is a Alice in Chains reference listen to "Rain When I Die" fucking sweet song.

I saw a truck the other day and they had taken off the Ford logo from the front grill of the truck and put on a "Peterbuilt" symbol. For one that is false fucking advertising and for two; who the hell do they think that they are fooling with that cheesy ass fucking thing. We all know that it's just another shitty ass Ford and that they wish that they could have something better. I hate people.

Over they last month or so I have become the most fucking disgruntled employee. I hate going to my job at all times pretty much. I hate listening to what pretty much anyone in the fucking building has to see and I get a fucking headache almost instantly when I walk into the building.

I have been getting some overtime lately which doesn't help me and helps me a lot all at the same time. Gives me extra money but when I fucking get there I hate the place even more so I guess they just cancel each other out which makes it a null and void day. I guess that every day is null and void because I hate it but I need money and that's a positive. Very few days equal out to a positive day. So pretty much I'm rambling about how my life has become a series of null days therefore my life is pretty much null and has no impact on this Earth as of right now. I guess I just have to wander these streets, so to speak, until September when I get the hell out of this place and get to Providence to do some schooling.

I don't know what else to right. Oh, check out "New Shoes" by Paolo Nutini...good tune. I have been listening to a lot of Guns 'N' Roses and Velvet Revolver lately. Can't wait to see who the new Velvet Revolver singer will be since Scott Weiland left to start up Stone Temple Pilots again...I think my VR and G'N'R obsesssion has stemmed from my reading of Slash's autobiography which is fucking awesome.

Today is the day that I draw the fine line between friends and those who pretend to be...

So today I had to go out and sweep out all of our sheds and the surrounding area. Fun fun fun. Wow every time I try to type fun I get to fuc then backspace to do the end I think this says that I type fuck way to often. Oh well, but anyways I was out in the sheds doing my thing and I swept up an old used condom. While being totally fucking grossed out I mused who would be so horny and senseless to fuck in a she at the local Home Depot but be so thoughtful as to use a condom? I really don’t understand the thinking behine this one how can one be so stupid and smart all in one shot?

I also have a gripe about the place that I work...what a shocker! So I work in the lot under the department number 96 but 96 is a sub department of 90 which is the front end. Now whenever I get the chance to I go and help out in other departments because during out indoctrination that we all have to go to we are told that the Home Depot crew is a "family" and we all help each other out blah, blah, blah. Well, when I go to help other departments I get nothing but shit from my department bosses whom shall remain nameless for the time being. So I can’t go help other departments yet when the front end needs a back up cashier or they need help with collecting carts or they need help loading a customer out front when I’m out or out to lunch or what-have-you the other department associates are supposed to jump and get right on it. And it’s all done under the impression from Big Brother that we need excellent customer service because we are the last people that the customer sees on their way out and if they are happy when they leave they will come back. Yet, riddle me this. If there isn’t enough people in the department and they need to team lift an object or they have an excess of customers and I volunteer my help and am not allowed to assist customers will the customer not then proceed to walk out and shop elsewhere and not even go through the front end. I do understand that we need to have carts for the customers but I don’t understand why I have to be out there every goddamned second of my shift when I can be used sensibly in other parts of the store.

I do have a solution that will never ever be used by the Home Depot corporation because I am in fact a lowly peon in their kingdom of associates. I think that they should have an expiditer type of associate position. An associate who clocks in under whatever department is short on hours for the week or what not and they could then bounce around from department to department wherever there is excess customers or they can cover a lunch when there is no one in the department. Well, this blog has turned serious hasn’t it. Well too fucking bad it was something I had been wanting to get off my chest.

Currently listening to: Under Falling Skies check them out they are from Springfield and totally fucking bad ass www.myspace.com/underfallingskies

Buy the Kellogg’s and the bomb is free...

So first of I would like to address the subject of Easter with it just around the corner. I understand taht it’s the celebration of the resurrection of Christ and blah blah blah. I would really like to know where the giant bunny comes into play with all of this. Did he roll the rock out of the way so that Jesus could get out and tell him "Hey Jesus dude, we brought you back with an important mission to hide these crazy colored eggs from the children." I don’t think that’s what happened and if it did would somebody show me that chapter in the bible because I think I might read the book if it was a little more sci-fi.

This brings me right around to religion. I am agnostic person I don’t believe that there is one true entity in the sky that created all that is but I’m not opposed to there being such a thing. Science can neither prove nor disprove the notion of a God so I will leave up to when I die to find out. I just don’t want to devote myself to one cult and say that it is the right one I like to leave my options open until I am holding hands with the Grim Reaper himself.

Why don’t people ever use graffitti to write nice things. It’s always "Lisa G is a dirty skanky whore." or "Mike Silver is a fucking butt fucker" It’s never "Richard is a really cool guy" or "Mary likes to receive flowers" Why are people such assholes all the time. And why do straight guys always call their friends "fags" but I never have heard a gay man call their friends "straight" or "hetero". These are things that fuck with my head at all times.

So Mike Hutchinson one of the ex-lot attendants whom I really grew to hate over the past year now is employed by Best Buy of the Berkshire Mall and yesterday when I went in there it really ruined my shopping experience to see that fuck in there.

I have really enjoyed usuing the term "wench" lately I just fucking love the sound of it. It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside to use it.

So on the bus from the middle of Pittsfield out the Home Depot about a week ago I met Mario. Mario is a latino man who seemed to be in his late 30’s. He was a very open man. He wanted to talk to me for some reason. It started out talking about working. Then we got onto the subject of "his lady", his words not mine. And his lady is a big girl. On the outside and with a big heart. This guy was just talking and talking. Talking about turning down hot girls when he was out in California and shit. Talking about how he moved to the Berkshires to raise his little girl because it seems that there is no trouble for the kids to get into which I too feel is true. His intentions seemed alright. It was either that or he’s running from the Californian government or some shit. But he seemed like an alright guy none the less and made my 1/2 hour bus ride seem a lot quicker even if it was weird that this dude would just open up to me for the hell of it.

There was a man who stopped me today in the lightbulb area of the depot. He was asking for an indoor grow light for plants for his special closet project "if you know what I mean *wink wink*". Direct quote from the man himself. I know what he was talking about my Dad had a closet project when I was just a wee lad. He has quit such shenanigans as of late which I am proud of him for.

Well that seems to be a good update for now...Peace whatever

I'm Feeling This!

One thing that I've wanted to bring up was the problem that people have with talking to themselves. I fucking think these people need to be supervised when in public so that someone can fucking smack them in the mouth when they start talking to themselves. I witnessed one woman the other day that had a complete conversation with her reflection in the window. She was doing hand gestures and everything. She would shake her head when she didn't agree with herself and all this crazy shit. Then there was a man at the bus stop that was just spouting off random fucking words to himself in the little bus stop hut. I wouldn't go near him I didn't want to interrupt his obviously important conversation with himself. The last person that I observed doing this almost daily is a kid at work. He stands near his register and just constantly talks under his breath to himself. I don't know what he's talking about but he sure does have a lot in common with himself because he never runs out of shit to say.

Lately I've been listening to hella blink-182. I just realized how much I fucking missed listening to them back in the day.

Did you know that Ford F-350's now have tampons? The Home Depot load-n-go does. When you check the transmission fluid on that bitch out pops out this little fucking white tampon looking thing and transmission fluid is fucking red. Those Fucks at Ford are sick muthafucking bastards.

So I went to court last Thursday because I was getting sued by this guy, blah blah blah. Long story short I have to pay him 100 bucks a month for the next 8 months. It seriously could've been worse.

Did you know that people brake for butterflies. Fucking idiots. I hate them.

People need to know the fucking limit of their vehicle and stop putting a ton of shit into half ton trucks. I don't know what's wrong with these people but I don't think that load ratings on pick up trucks are just guidelines that have a leeway of a ton or two either way. I think that it should be legal to beat idiots like this with a shovel. It really would make my life much more fun and interesting.

You’re about to take a Mindtrip...So get your ticket stamped

So today was a pretty mundane day in the saltmines. Of course all of the rumors flying around about me always excite me a bit because I find it all quite HILARIOUS.

But tonight there was a little excitement for me, of course it was probably disappointment for another one of our associates but it occuppied my time quite well. Silver was in an accident as he was leaving work. As soon as I heard about it and that it was at the back of our lot I naturally went out there for two reasons. First and foremost to make sure that dumbfucker wasn't injured. Secondly, because I am a rubbernecker. I love to watch other peoples misfortune. Sorry Silver. It definitly made it worthwhile when the other woman cried over a tow truck. And her vehicle wasn't towed until about 8:30 and the accident was shortly after 7. Ooohhhh that brought satisfaction to my dark heart.

Lastly, Sharon, my front end supervisor was nice enough to give me a ride home. The original plan was to get to Adams and then catch a cab back to the good ol' NA. When we got to her home she ended up going inside and getting her 4 year old and he came along for a ride and she brought me all the way home. Meeting this child just made my heart melt. He was so damn cute. I've always known that I want kids, it's just one of those things that you just know you want. I can't wait to have kids. Strike that, I'm excited at the prospect of one day having kids but not right now, I definitly don't want to be a 19 year old father. But I really wouldn't mind being a father in my mid to late 20's.

Well, this wasn't that funny but it definitly was a journey into my mind...Mindtrip...That's a good tune look it up it's by Nonpoint.

Tightly hold your hand take a deep breath give them the finger...

So my little sister who is 11 years old for some unknown reason needed a MySpace or she would fucking die. She talked her mother into it even though the site clearly states that you have to be 14 to have an account and apparantly the scare tactics that a sexual predator is sitting outside the house waiting to put you in his van doesn't work either. I still don't know why somebody in sixth grade with all of 20 friends needs a MySpace to keep tabs on their friends when you see them in school every single day. She's usually a wench anyways...I don't know what that has to do with anything but oh fucking well.

So anybody out there listen to Our Lady Peace with such fantastical songs as "Superman's Dead" "One Man Army" and "Somewhere Out There" among others. If not you should and if you don't after reading this a dead 12 year old who was brutally murdered by her parents will come and kill you at precisly 1:15 this morning. So you better get listening goddamnit.

I think that I've exhausted my hate for the retarded bunch of fucks that I serve at work also known as the general public. I really don't have anything else to say about these people. Oh yeah, except when you come to buy something such as a toilet, shower, or about 15 fucking windows or doors. BRING A FUCKING FRIEND YOU GODDAMNED IDIOTS. I can not stress this enough. You know that you are going out to buy a large item(s) yet you still show up alone walk to the back of the store without a cart and then you're mad when you have to go back to the front of the store for a cart. It's not like you were just casually perusing our store and say to yourself, "Self, I think that I shall buy a new toilet today." This is a purchase that you need to think about. And men SHOULDN'T send in their PREGNANT wives to pick shit up such as doors and windows. Go with them you fucking moron. What the fuck are you doing that's so fucking important that you have to send your pregnant wife whom can't even get in and out of the fucking car. Really people are idiotic and fucked in the fucking head. Fucking fuckers.

Alright now I think I've exhausted my hate for the customers for tonight. It's been a little while since I've done this shiznat...

Well since the little thing below this that says what I'm listening to isn't working I'm listening to Our Lady Peace as you should be too mother fuckers...

I sleep so I can’t feel...

Random blog about stuff that I'm kinda excited for in '08...

-Moving to Garden at work is a big muthafuckin' plus I'm sick of the fucking parking lot

-Shitload of new tunes from some of my favorite bands

-Sevendust
-Taproot
-Disturbed
-Slipknot
-10 Years

-Going away to fucking college I'm so fucking pumped that I'm going to Johnson and Wales in Providence, RI you don't even know each day it gets closer and closer I think I'm down to 219 days left until I leave.

I think that's actually it for now...I've stopped doing funny blogs because I was trying to hard to do it and it was a strained funny and no longer natural I'm sure that when I get to a new department in a few weeks new shit will arise I think that the parking lot has just left me at a stalemate for new material.

It’s one hell of a marketing ploy...

Heath Ledger was found dead in his NYC apartment today from either an accidental overdose or they haven't ruled out suicide. It's a terrible thing when a young person is taken far too soon but the cast and crew of "Dark Knight" have got to be seeing dollar signs because you know that many people will want to see the movie as it is his last role. I will see it. Well, So Long old friend who wasn't my friend we will grieve your death for a day or two and then move on to the next "big thing".

I Started Looking Out for myself Today...but Then I Stopped Because I Don't Care...

Hey look! You dropped your pocket...

So new news...I am getting SUED!! Everyone loves that man. Who's day isn't made when they get served papers. This is all because of my accident back on December 8th. But it's only for a little bit, but I think that this is just the start of a shitstorm. I just hope that the storm subsides by the time I have to go to school in September. So I won't be getting my truck back for a while now.

So today at work I had an asshole come up to me while I was out busting my ass pushing carts and look at me and just cock his head and say "Somebody has to do it." and got in his car and left. Needless to say he did not push his cart back up, he left it like the rest of the assholes. I've been hating this position more and more as of late. If I could just get into another department at the store I would be a lot happier. I don't mind the store just my fucking department.

If you don't already listen to them you should totally listen to Armor For Sleep. I friggin' love their tunes lately.

I hate customers at work that ask me if I like my job. They always seem to ask me when I'm throwing fucking pellets into the trunk of their Volvo or a toilet into the back of their fucking Lexus. I've been inclined to just look at them and just fucking shake my head. Usually I just act like I didn't hear the question the lousy fucks.

"Counting Blue Cars" by Dishwalla is a fucking sweet song...did you know that? You should have said yes and if you don't know the song peep that shit...now fuckers!

What kind of horrible fucking joke would it be if my fucking life was just a TV show that was always in production and I was the only out of the loop. If you all are getting paid millions because I'm a fucking whatever I am I would be overly fucking pissed off. I don't even know what I am to everyone else. I just know that it works for me most of the time. And as to the original question of what kind of horrible fucking joke would it be? Haha can we stop this ride now it's starting to hail and rollercoasters are no fucking fun in the hail.

I think that's all for right now except ummm thanks to you all who've been helping me out lately it means the fucking world right now....