Things I thought about on 8/26

So today nothing really funny happened. Well it wasn't funny to me anyways. I was helping a woman load up her cart with about 50 bricks of paverstones. While bending down to set them down she reaches up and accidentally knocked about 30 of them off the shelf and about 10 of them landed on my back. So my back is now fucking hurting like hell and I got to spend a bunch of time at the hospital to get checked out which our manager didn't like me going there with HD footing the bill but oh fucking well. I also had to get Drug tested for some mysterious reason and they sent me with a department head. Good thing I got Bob from hardware at least he's not boring. But I'm out of work tomorrow and I'm high on Vicodin right now because the ER doc was cool at BMC...Oh well should be back on Monday to working. Fucking dumbass woman. Not to mention that her daughter was breast feeding her baby right in Home Depot. That was some fucked up shit.

A Story from back in the day

So this little tale comes from my days of working at the MCLA campus store back in January. I was working one day when an attractive young lady and her assumed boyfriend come in. They are walking around the little store and anything that she would say to him he would answer in a squealing sound as if he were a pig. Now this was odd enough in itself. The last thing that they picked up for the counter was a box of condoms. This led to the thought of does he pig squeal while they are fucking because that would just be fucked up. And if he does how can she deal with that, or is that how she gets off. These types of things keep me from ever progressing in this fucked world. These are some of the thinks that I [thought] of while at work...back in the day...

Things I thought about on 8/25

Short entry for today. I took French for all 4 years of high school and last night I realized that if you meld english and french that The Home Depot could actually be known as The Home Of Pot seeing as de is of in french. Oddities that make it impossible for me to work. Oh yeah and Mrs. Ducquette of Ducquette's driving school is a fucking crazy ass bitch. She came into THD yesterday and bought a thing for blinds that holds em up and everything it cost her 16 bucks. She took it outside had me cut off about a 3 cent piece from it and threw the rest of it away. She just wanted the little stick that you turn to open and close blinds. Fucking dumb ass hoe.

These are some of the things that I think of while at work....Now I have to go to work...

Things I thought about on 8/21

I love '90's alternative rock. I love a lot of the music from back then; know all the words and whatever. But as I was walking through today singin' along to "Wonderwall" by Oasis for the 8th time that day I thought that maybe this billion dollar company could put more than 90 fucking songs on a playlist so that I can have a bit of a variety in my tunage for the day.

So I understand in the weight conscious America people want to exercise. But when you park in the farthest parking spot for your excercise would you excercise your way back up towards the front with the cart. That's the point of parking out there. To make yourself work out a little more. Not to make me pissed off at every goddamned customer who does it. Now I've actually seen someone who was parked 3 spaces from where all of our carts are put bring his cart 5 spaces the opposite way to put a HD cart with a group of Wal-Mart carts. What the Fuck man. Is your head so far stuck up your fucking ass that you don't know the difference from group a gray carts and a group of orange carts like the one that you are pushing that you've walked past twice since you've parked in the fucking parking lot. I also hate when people think they are doing me a favor by shoving a cart towards me while I'm already pushing a line of 12 carts towards the front. I'm a little fucking busy at the moment. I 'm sorry that I can't directly cater to your needs but you'll have to walk it up there yourself mother fucker. You also have the option of leaving it right there and making me walk back through where I've already cleared all the carts out. Whatever you fucking want you fucking asshole mother fucking pricks. And then the mother fuckers who bring over Wal-Mart carts then try to pass them to me. Uh-uh. No way am I bringing back the fucking Wal-Mart carts I've already got enought to do. You can fuck yourself and your fucking Wal-Mart fucking cart...

These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 8/20

Yesterday while out in the parking lot pushing carts with George we were approached by a police officer who told us that he needed some help. He came up to us and said in these exact words, "I need your help. We have a missing child and need you to look everywhere. 3 Years of age. White Male. Blonde Hair....Scooby-Doo pajamas." Ok so George and I scour the parking lot for a good 25 minutes. Check the sheds, the underbrush, in between cars, everywhere. And while we are walking around we regroup with each other and start brainstorming. What the fuck kind of mother loses her child at the Wal-Mart check-out? George says that children don't just run away and hide, that he's probably hiding right in plain site...I then think that he could be hiding if she's an abusive mother. Maybe she isn't fit to have a child. This is about the time that we find out that they have found the kid inside of Wal-Mart. He was sleeping amongst the shirts in the clothing department. My first question is why did she bring her child into Wal-Mart at 4 in the afternoon in his pajamas? Why wasn't she paying better attention to the kid? You have to not be looking at the kid for about 5 or 10 minutes for a 3 year old to wander to clothing section and find a comfy spot for a nap. I hope that the police are getting further involved into this woman's parenting because I think that people like her shouldn't have fucking kids. What if some sick bastard had taken the kid and raped or killed him? He would be fucked up for the rest of his life in the head or even worse dead seeing as that's the consequences of being killed. D.S.S. should be brought into this matter to at least monitor her parenting, the kid may be better off going up for adoption. Let a family who can care for the kid take him. What the fuck woman???? Fucking people need to get their heads out of their asses when it comes to having kids...anyone can pop one out but it takes a fucking adult to be able to raise a kid.

Alright to switch subjects kind of...let's move on to today's moronic customer. I had a gentleman come up to me and call me over to ask me "Will this battery work with my charger?" I look at the Ryobi batteries and it says on the package, "Works with all Ryobi tools and chargers" and I read this to him and ask him if his charger is Ryobi and he says that it is. This does NOT take an idiot to figure out. He then continues to bramble on to me that if it doesn't work he will be coming back to throw the batteries through the windows! Now I don't know if he was trying to threaten me or what but I really could care less. I point out to him that if the batteries don't work to return them and he can get money back, but if he came to throw them through the windows a lawsuit was possible and he would be paying money then. He continued to tell me of how he will be really pissed off and he would throw them through the windows. I then told him that it would be fine with me because that just gives me job security as I will be sweeping up the glass while he was in trouble with the corporation. He then departed the store with his newly bought batteries.

One more for today. Our phone center girl that was on today is a fiesty little person to say the least. Well, she was on the phone with a gentleman and trying to explain something to him and he threatened to come down and shoot her for some reason. Now this is just fucked up and she asks for his name and number so that the lumber associate could call him back and the dumbass gave up the information. Apparantly death threats aren't a problem with the police where he's from or something. And if I have all my facts straight. The man who threatened her came in and was in his late 50's or early 60's and was quite worn out looking. I don't really see him doing much harm to anyone. I had to load up his shingles in his truck for him because he couldn't lift them up. How the fuck would he pull the trigger on a gun. Maybe these weren't the same men...correct me if I'm wrong....

These are some of the FUCKING things I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 8/19

So today while chilling at the service desk while I was supposed to be doing something more productive an older gentleman walks up and asks the service associate for a piece of paper, a pen, and a tape measure. He says that he wants to measure one of our grills on display to see if it will fit in his SUV. He then procedes to ask us if they are assembled or in a box. We tell him of our free assembly and he then looks back and asks if he measures the display how will he know if the grill he buys will fit in his truck. This man really thinks that the display models are a different size than the grills we sell them. Now bear in mind that our grills are on display and life size and you can see that they are not minitures or anything like that. This man actually thought that he would be buying a different size grill. Some people are just plain stupid....

So, I also had a woman drive up to have me load a box that was probably about 80" long and 18" wide. She drives up in a Volkswagon Passat wagon and opens up the hatch and says "There you go" She didn't even lower down the back seat or anything. I asked her to put down the seats and pull forward the passenger seat so that it would fit and you would think that I asked her to blow me or something. She had such an accosted look on her face. She was rolling her eyes and everything. I wish that I could've fucking smacked her. Fucking ho...These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 8/18

Alright so today I went into one of our bathrooms at the Home Depot and I recognized that someone had been so upset with our store that they carved into the T.P. dispenser that "The Home Depot Sucks". Now what I would really like to know is if this person went in there just to carve this or if they had to use the restroom and got bored while sitting on the can? Who brings a carving implement into the bathroom anyways? Why do they feel the need to be doing there business and carving. I don't understand people sometimes. While on the subject of bathrooms I would also like to say taht yesterday I went into the restroom that is open to the public and went to go into the handicapped stall, because why should we let the crips get all that space I, in fact like the extra room...sometimes I practice new dance steps while in there but that's beside the point. Well, anyways, I went into the stall and somebody had thought to smear their shit on the seat of the toilet and around the outside of the bowl and I think to myself why in the FUCK would anyone smear their shit around on the toilet. This wasn't just that they missed they smeared that shit around. What the fuck are these people? Fucking monkeys? What the FUCK! I was speechless at this finding. It just mystifies me at how primitive people are. We have fucking technology up the ass and fucking geniouses and shit and then we have these people smearing SHIT AROUND ON A TOILET!!!!!These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 8/17

Alright so today I had to deal with people's ignorance. These people just fucking bother me all to hell. I had a woman walk up to me in the door department and hand me a number 1 in a package, one like you would put on your door for your house number and asks me, "What would I do with just one 1?" I looked at her and said that if you live at house 1 it would work wonderfully...What the Fuck. She then looks at me and says, "Do you have any more out back and don't tell me that you don't have any out there because that's what 3 other people have told me." Well, if three fucking people have told you that there are none out back then there must not be any out in the fucking back! I mean come on use your fucking head woman. Do you think that I'm gonna pull a fucking 1 from my fucking ass just because I was saving it for her? People are fucking retarded. These goddamned customers!

Another thing is that we aren't supposed to accept tips at the Home Depot, ok? People insist on offering them and most understand when I decline there pitiful fucking dollar for putting ten bags of 80 lbs. cement in the back of their Volkswagon Rabbit or whatever I did. But you still get these ignorant fuckers that try to force it on you even though your manager is just sitting right behind you and you tell them that. I once had a fucking old bag of bones stuff 52 cents into my fucking apron pocket. What the FUCK am I going to do with FIFTY-TWO CENTS?????? And I can get fired for that; for 52 fucking cents. These people just drive me nuts. Now if I just put in 20 bags of cement in your truck and we are out in the lot and you off me a 5 spot...I won't see money drop on the ground....you get it? These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Bicyclists belong on Bike paths!

Alright so this is something from on the way to work. I was driving to work at about 12:30 going past right where the railtrail is conviently placed so that people may bicycle there way to wherever they may be going out of the way of cars. Now I was driving at about 12:30 and that is lunch traffic time. When I drove by two bicycle riders, two and they were riding side by side so that one of them was practically in the lane of traffic! Get the fuck off of the road I don't know what makes you think that you can just drive right along with the rest of us. The last thing that I want to go down for is vehicular homicide! What happens if one them crashes right into all the dangerous traffic. They should be using the nifty bike riding trail the fucking dumbasses. Oh well though what can I really do but to sit here and fucking gripe about it in my fucking blog...

Things I thought about on 8/14

So I'm thinking of doing these little things every day that I work and I see something that irritates me, makes me chuckle, angers me, or just gets me to thinking whatever...but I have the next two days off so I won't be doing one of these until Friday or later but on to tonights...

So first of all today while wandering around aimlessly before I got to leave the premises for a while I overheard a younger child probably of 8 or 9 years old cursing in plain old speech as if it were okay. Not as in using "fuck" or "shit" but the words that are P.C. for television such as "ass", "bitch", and "piss". Now this kid wasn't utilizing all of these words but I have heard multiple children out in the parking lot cussing. Since when was it ok to let your kid use such language. I know that when I was a kid "hell" would get me a smack in the back of the head. I still try not to cuss in front of my family it's just disrespectful. Maybe I'm just "old-fashioned" but I think that I'm right in believing that these parents should be utilizing the old soap in the mouth technique.

Another gripe that I have today (yes two things!) is this older woman who has been coming in for the last 5 days and buying 8 bags of mulch each time that comes out to 40 bags of mulch that she has at home and I AM curious as to what she needs that mulch for but the real problem is that she comes in and I've loaded her each time and each time she wants it loaded her way. Not that I do this job every goddamn day of the week but she wants some stacked "horizontally" and some "vertically" her words. and one on the floor. And she also wants no "muck" on her car seat, yet she wants to come in and purchase large bags of mulch? I don't understand her thinking on this. Get a fucking friend with a truck goddamn it!

Yet, she is not the only customer who feels that they should tell me how to be doing my job. I don't understand why purchasing lumber makes you an expert at putting it into the back of the pickup truck when you can't even fuckin' lift it because you are a frail 75 year old fuckin' woman. "Lift with your legs", "Hold it close to your body" and "Don't hurt your back" are all muttered to me all day. Like I don't already know these things. I wasn't born yesterday you old fuckin' bag! And, as to hurting my back, wasn't planning on it, I don't think that most people who DO hurt their backs plan on hurting them, it's just something that happens. And as to old men whom are 80 and still come in and purchase twenty 80 Lbs. bags of cement and make me put it on a cart and then put it in your 30 year old truck then joke with me that you don't know how you're going to get it out of your truck don't fuckin' buy it! Hire someone to do it for you because I WILL NOT take pity on you and come to your home and carry it into your backyard. It just won't ever happen...WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE!

I also found out today that getting to leave work to pick up a fridge from an old lady's house is fun because you don't have to deal with these fuckin' asshole customers and fucking retarded management. These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 8/13

Today while I was walking around the parking lot at the Homo Depot I saw a car with a Maryland lisence plate. You know how Massachusetts plates have "The Spirit of America" and Vermont says "The Green Mountain State" or they all have the states little catch phrase or quote or what-have-you; whatever makes the state what it is; uniquities of the state. Well when I read the Maryland plate the quote actually reads "www.maryland.gov" this is how lame that states government is...they can't even think of a fuckin' quote to describe their state; just the goddamned website. They have a cool flag. They could've at least mentioned that they are the neighbor of the nation's capitol. I think that this makes Maryland one of the least creative states ever. Fuck them! These are some of the things that I think of while at work...

Things I thought about on 8/06

I was walking around in the Home Depot parking lot today while I was supposed to be collecting carts and I stumbled across a car with a simple bumper sticker, and it read: "I slow for Manatees" with a picture of a manatee. I think that this is one of the most fucking retarded bumper stickers I have ever seen on a car for the simple fact that; when was the last time that YOU had to slow for a manatee. Fucking call me when you do have to slow down to let a manatee cross the road because I would love a fucking picture of that, thank you very much. I have also seen other aquatic animals on "braking" or "slowing" bumper stickers such as dolphins. I believe that people who use these bumper stickers should be clubbed. These are some things that I think of while at work...